Chapter 3- Memories of Kikyou

Her legs were starting to get tired as the girl continued sprinting, trying to break from the pain that had now envolped her body and soul. She had left her yellow backpack, packing all of the goods she carried for her friends, behind as she made a break to get out of there as quickly as possible before Inuyasha found her and she'd have to hear the full confession coming from him. Kagome couldn't, it was just too much. She didn't know if she could stand Inuyasha saying another precious thing about Kikyou. Kikyou, the woman who Kagome had saved from Naraku's miasma. Kikyou, the woman whom had tried to kill she, Kagome, in the past and yet Kagome still did what she could to help Kikyou whenever the undead miko was in need of it.

Kagome had done this because she bore a rather strong and almost unatural kindness in heart towards others. No matter how jealous or outraged she became over Kikyou and Inuyasha, she would never just leave somebody to die, especially Kikyou. Kagome knew how special Kikyou was to Inuyasha and so she could never just leave the woman to die if that were the case. Although sometimes she wished that she had just left her or that Kikyou would just disappear, but then the miko would feel terrible and wonder if she had really become such an awful person. No, of course she hadn't. If she had, Kagome wouldn't have went out of her way to save Kikyou from Naraku's miasma.  Kagome could remember clearly when they were certain that Kikyou had been killed and she would never forget Inuyasha's reaction to the powerful miko's supposed demise.  

~*~*~*~*~

Inuyasha stood on the cliff after just witnessing a vision of Kikyou. He never excepted his older brother to be there at all on the newly barrier-ridden Mt. Hakurai. Lord Sesshomaru had been gazing downward where Kikyou had fallen after Naraku had inflicted serious wounds upon her clay body. The half-demon laughed as his tentacle-like feature pierced the dead woman's flesh, but it only cracked open, there was no blood. She had fallen into the gushing river of his deadly miasma.

"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha growled in menacing tones, balling his fists up as he stared angrily at his youkai older brother.

Sesshomaru turned his silver head to the side, peering over his shoulder at the hanyou, gazing curiously at him. He turned to face his little brother. "Inuyasha, still alive are you?" the great youkai questioned in slight surprise.

Inuyasha ignored the question, continuing to further interrogate Sesshomaru. "What are you doing here?"

Sesshomaru had chosen to ignore his younger brother's warning but instead continued to carry on what he had discovered upon his arrival. "It seems that Naraku's main interest was not you, but rather his real objective was to kill that woman." He turned his silver head, showing the twin purple marks on his cheeks, marking his youkai nature. He gazed downward as Inuyasha's face became filled with confusion. What did Sesshomaru mean? The hanyou followed his brother's stare and discovered what lay just at the edge of the cliff.  It was a wooden bow. It lay, snapped into two pieces splintered where it had broken, the woven cloth around it's center slowly becoming unraveled and the string loosened. What in the hell had happened here?

"That's Kikyou's bow!" Inuyasha exclaimed staring down the demolished weapon. "No, Kikyou!" He picked up his feet and ran to the edge of the cliff, lowering himself to his knees and picking up half the bow in his hand. He stared at it in disbelief, not daring to believe that Kikyou could really be dead. Inuyasha, slowly stood up, clutching the bow in his fist. ' What happened...did Naraku kill Kikyou? No! it can't be!!!'  The hanyou clenched his teeth down hard as he remembered what Kikyou had told him.

"Naraku cannot kill me. Not as long as he has Onigumo's heart...the heart which cares for me," she had told him reassuringly. Kikyou had mentioned that as long as Onigumo's heart still beat within Naraku that there would be an opportunity for her to destroy him.

Inuyasha struggled with the flood of emotions that were filling his insides, not wanting to believe that the woman he loved had fallen once again by the hands of Naraku and died alone. The hanyou's golden eyes scanned the cliff and then averted down towards where the river of the purple and black miasma continued to flow, bubbling precariously over the rocks of the mountain that had fallen below. His eyes then caught sight of something white flowing up from the wind. It was attatched to one of the many jagged rocks below. A white piece of cloth perhaps?  Out of nowhere a shinidamachuu appeared, wounding it's glowing, glistening white body around the cloth.

"A soul collector," Inuyasha spoke, still in shock by what he'd just heard and what he was discovering. Was it really possible that Kikyou was killed here?

The cloth flew off the rock and the soul collector chased after it, absorbing the item along with itself and disappeared into a blue flame. It was followed by a transparent image of Kikyou's face in the miasma and her illusion burst into a million of brillant, blue and twinkling stars. They slowly cascaded back downward into the miasma fading from view. Inuyasha drew his eyesbrows in, doing his best to keep the pain he was feeling at bay. "I failed you again Kikyou...I let you die. I wasn't there when you died alone." His worst suspicion had been confirmed true as the small imp that followed Sesshomaru spoke up, breaking him from his thoughts.

"This miasma is terrible! There's no way she could survive this!" Jaken exclaimed, placing the sleeve of his kimono over his nose, squinting downward at the acidic liquid frothing over the rocks. Sesshomaru turned his back and began walking away as the little imp youkai lept to his feet and chased after the great demon lord.

"Hold on, Sesshomaru," Inuyasha snapped as he watched the retreating back of his older brother. "Did you just watch her get killed? Didn't you do anything to help?" he questioned as he began trembling, still clutching the broken bow in his hand. He took in breaths through his clenched teeth, trying hard to keep control of himself. Sesshomaru meerly gazed at Inuyasha and turned his back once more, his long white hair flowing out from behind him. "I TOLD YOU TO STOP!" he warned, running towards the demon lord, his hand on Tetsusaiga's hilt, willing and ready to draw his sword and threaten Sesshomaru if that was the only way to get answers.

Sesshomaru still continued walking lazily away from him, but spoke as he did so. "I don't care to know what your connection with that woman was." The great demon lord stopped and gazed back at his brother as if none of this even remotely phased him at all.  "The person responsible for killing Kikyou was Naraku, and you...you're the one who didn't save her," the youkai pointed out blatantly. "Inuyasha, blame yourself."

The hanyou growled, his upper lip trembling and his fangs bared between clenched teeth. He didn't want to hear what Sesshomaru had to say. None of this could of happened to Kikyou. Naraku did NOT kill her again. He wouldn't believe it.

"Rather than take your anger out on me, I suggest you go after Naraku," Sesshomaru continued, not paying any heed to Inuyasha's emotions threatening to spill out at any moment now.

"Exactly!" agreed Jaken and he too, turned and followed Sesshomaru through the clouds of gray and brown dust, vanishing from sight.

Now overcome by his emotions and feelings of remorse, Inuyasha fell to his knees on the cliff, still holding tightly onto the broken bow in his hand. "Kikyou...I," he struggled, his voice gasping and cracking as though he were on the verge of tears.

"Inuyasha!" called out the voice of the houshi as himself, Kirara, Kagome, Sango, and Kouga ran towards him.

He was still on his knees, clutching the bow, his other hand pulled into a tight fist. As Kirara landed, Kagome lept off of her, noticing the position that Inuyasha had been in, Kagome automatically expected the worst. Something was terribly wrong with Inuyasha and something horrible had to of happened. The hanyou stood up on his feet again as he heard his friends approach him from behind and picked up Kagome's scent. She clutched the bow and quiver over her shoulder as she took a few steps towards him, worried about what had really happened and what had caused him to fall like that.

"Inuyasha," Kagome spoke gently, but in slight confusion. What had just happened? She stared down at his feet and saw the broken piece of bow that the hanyou had been holding onto and gasped. 'That's...' "Where's Kikyou? Did something happen to her?" Kagome asked, almost afraid to ask judging the way Inuyasha had been on his knees, overwhelmed by his grief and remorse.

"Yeah," Inuyasha replied quietly. The hanyou stared down into the billowing miasma below where his beloved Kikyou had fallen. "Naraku wasn't after me...he wanted Kikyou. He wanted to take her life."

'It can't be...Kikyou's gone?' Kagome could do nothing but stare helplessly at him. She didn't know what to say or what to do. She tried to reach out to him, but before the miko could do anything, Inuyasha called out Kikyou's name and took off down into the miasma, leaping across rocks and calling for her. She lowered her hand and then her head, sighing sadly as she did so. The hanyou's concerns didn't lie with her anymore.

They lay with locating Kikyou and making sure she was still alive. Kagome had stayed up all night, waiting for him to return. She never bothered once to lay down and get some sleep in case she missed him coming back. She hated to say it herself, but she wanted to know if Kikyou was alive or dead. If Kikyou were the latter then Kagome could...'No! How could I think such terrible things!'  The priestess sat on the cold, hard ground, hoping against hope that he would return soon.  'Inuyasha...how far did you go in search for Kikyou?' The miko's thoughts were interrupted by footsteps approaching her. She gazed upward through the mists and saw something crimson coming towards her.

"Inuyasha?" she spoke uncertainly, hoping that her lack of sleep didn't have her seeing an illusion of him and only coming to realize that it wasn't him. The others heard Kagome's voice and awoke from their sleep, lifting their heads curiously to see if he had really returned. 'Inuyasha, have you returned?' the miko asked herself as he appeared through the early morning fog.

"Kagome?" the hanyou questioned, rather surprised to see the miko up. "Did you wait up all night for me?"

"I...," Kagome began and then lowered her head in defeat. 'You couldn't find Kikyou could you...I want to ask but...' but she thought to herself. Kagome's thoughts were once more interrupted by Inuyasha's voice.

Inuyasha seemed to read the young woman's mind as he too lowered his head. "I just thought that...I'd be able to find her remains atleast."

"Inuyasha," Kagome retierated as she gazed at her beloved hanyou. ' What can I say to him? I can't stand to see him in such pain...I don't know how to console him...'

Inuyasha lifted his head and stared at Kagome, his golden eyes filled with sorrow and remorse. "I'm sorry Kagome," he told her softly. "I'm...okay now."

"You're...okay?" she questioned uncertainly.

The hanyou did not respond. Instead he began walking towards her, staring at the ground as he went. Kagome had hoped and somewhat expected him to stop right there in front of her so she could embrace him, but instead he walked right past her, as if she weren't even there. The young miko gasped and turned around as she watched the hanyou descend away from her. Inuyasha...you don't look okay to me. What can I do? What do I do?

~*~*~*~*~

The priestess didn't even think twice about it when she had found Kikyou weeks later under a waterfall with a wound so severe that Kagome was surprised the woman was still alive. Kikyou's shikigama had approached her and given her the chance to either leave Kikyou to die or to save her. Kagome had chosen the latter. She would never just allow somebody to die like that. The miko had dove into the water, placed her hands over Kikyou's wound and purified the miasma within it, saving her from a fate that may never allow her soul to rest in peace.

One memory after another and one thought after another of Kikyou raced through Kagome's mind. Her heart and her mind were too filled with the vision of Inuyasha kneeling before Kikyou. His back had been to her, but she could hear their voices speaking softly to one another, she just hadn't been able to make out what they were saying. Who'd want to of heard what they were saying? He was probably whispering sweet words to her and promising to protect her and how he'd gladly go to Hell with her when this is all over. Well guess what, Inuyasha baka! I'm not about to just sit around and let you use to me to locate Naraku or the sacred jewel! You have Kikyou for that, so why would you need me anymore?

Kagome felt another lump rising in her throat, threatening her with another onset of tears and she couldn't take it. The miko clutched her hands into small fists, trembling as she did what she could to try and erase the images and memories of Inuyasha and Kikyou from her mind, but she just couldn't. It was too painful. Why didn't I just go away when I had the chance? Why did I always allow myself to get hurt this way? What did I do to deserve this? Ugh! I'm just so stupid! Why didn't I listen to my concious when it told me that Inuyasha was in love with Kikyou and not me? Why did I listen to what my heart told me? Instead, I still continue to come back here and help him after everything we've gone through, allowing myself to become closer to him and fall even more in love with him! I AM JUST SO STUPID!

Kagome didn't know how long she had been running or how far she had ran for that matter. The miko only had one thing in mind and that was to get as far away from Inuyasha as pheasibly possible, meaning she'd go five hundred years into the future once she reached the well. However would that really futher her from him? Would that distance her enough to her liking?  The miko knew the hanyou all too well if she left without even saying anything to him. He'd chase her down that well just like he always did whenever Kagome disappeared off to her time, and Kagome didn't want him to do that to her. Not this time. It'd be much too painful.

The miko could feel the burning in her legs now and if she didn't stop soon, Kagome was going to collapse, but she pressed on, trying to make it to the village before Inuyasha could. She thought too soon. Kagome felt her legs give out from underneath her and she landed hard on the ground, grazing her cheek and her chin as she fell near a pile of brush. Kagome rolled into the brush, allowing her threatening emotions to overtake her body and ignoring the newly inflicted wounds on her face. She began to sob relentlessly, clutching bits of the brush in her hands, not having a care in the world. The miko had become completely numb, only being able to feel the crushing of her soul and the shattering of her heart. Inuyasha had chosen Kikyou, not her. "I-Inuyasha, why!" Kagome wailed into the green leaves of the bushes. "Why would you do this to me again!"

There was a small mew that sounded from very near next to her, followed by a warm fuzzy creature climbing over her shoulder. Kirara had caught up with Kagome and seen the miko fall. Overcome with concern for her human companion she made her way towards Kagome. Kirara let out another soft squeaking mew, nuzzling the tears off of the girl's cheeks.

"Kirara," Kagome choked, gathering the small youkai cat in her arms. "You came all this way just for me?" the miko asked.

Kirara mewed in response and Kagome couldn't help but let a small smile creep up on her face through her tears. She knew Sango had sent the intelligent firecat out to find her and Kagome snuggled the furry two-tail in her arms. Kirara allowed Kagome to cry into her fur, not minding it one bit, and attemped to help her feel better by consistently nuzzing her cheeks. Once Kagome had calmed herself, she sat up in the bushes, brushed her tears away and gazed down at Kirara's big, crimson eyes.

"Sango-chan sent you, didn't she?" Kagome asked softly. The glistening look in Kirara's eyes told her that she had. "Thanks Kirara," the priestess told the little cat, rubbing her gently  behind the ears. Kirara squeaked again in response. "Kirara, could you do me a favor?" Kagome asked, staring down at the small demon cat. "Do you think you could take me back to the village so I can go home?"

Kirara mewed in response and lept out of the brush onto the forest path. The small one soon became engulfed in massive flames. The flames dissapated, revealing a rather large cat that looked that of a mountain lion and a saber-tooth. She growled in response to Kagome's request and the miko stood up from the brush.

"Thanks Kirara, I appreciate it this so much," the miko told her as she jumped astride the massive firecat's back.

She wrapped her arms around Kirara's fuzzy neck and the youkai obliged to Kagome's wish, taking a leap in the air and flying towards the village. Hopefully Kirara can get me back before Inuyasha catches up. I do NOT want to see him and if he tries to chase after me, I'm going to tell him what this is doing to me and that as long as he goes and meets with Kikyou then I can't be with him anymore. It's tearing me apart.

Sunset was approaching as Kagome and Kirara flew above the forest. Kagome had been lost in her thoughts of Inuyasha, Kikyou and herself. She had completely forgotten that Inuyasha's time of vulnerablity was approaching. More than a few times she had to fight back tears that threatened her, but Kirara didn't mind. The youkai cat was intelligent enough to know that the young miko was hurting and she kept releasing soft, comforting sounding growls from her throat to reassure Kagome that she wasn't alone. Kirara was here for her and would stay there for her until Kagome decided to go home. The miko was interrupted in her thoughts by a rather large growl emerging from Kirara's throat. Kagome sat up on her mount's back in confusion.

"Kirara what i-...," Kagome began, but her words were cut off from a rather large gasp. There in front of them was what looked like a black armoured tail, swinging back and forth. Screeching and hissing noises were arising from the creature ahead of them. "WHAT IS THAT!" Kagome cried out in disgust as she instinctively reached behind and withdrew an arrow, placing it firmly on her bow and drawing it back. "IT'S A SCORPION YOUKAI!" she cried out. "KIRARA, GO HIGHER!" Kirara answered to Kagome's command and soared ever higher.

The scorpion demon was was massive as a boulder and easily out-sized the priestess and her mount. Colossal, gleaming, black armour coated it's back. It turned it's great amoured body towards Kagome and Kirara who were hovering in midair. "HIT THE MARK!" Kagome yelled as she released the arrow she had drawn back, aiming for a part on it's body that wasn't armoured. The arrow began to glow with a blazing blue light as it hit the demon full on in the face were there was no protective armour to coat it. The scorpion let out a blood-curling screech in pain and thrashed about on it's seemingly brittle legs. Now acting upon revenge at it's newly injured face, the youkai reared it's arched tail back, pointing the stinger on the end of it directly at Kagome.

"KIRARA!" the priestess cried out as the monster released a yellow liquid from a hole in the stinger of it's tail.

The youkai firecat reacted just in time and lept out of the way of the poison that shot towards them.  The two were still suspended in mid-air as Kagome grabbed another arrow, readying herself. She was going to shoot the tail and hope against hope that she could hit the tail, causing the stinger to fall off so the beast could no longer use it's poison against her. "GO!" she yelled as she fired the arrow. It flew downward at a nearly blazing speed, issuing the same blue, purifying light as it always did, and when Kagome was certain she'd managed to pull it off, the scorpion swung it's tail right into the head of the purifying arrow, causing it to richochet off and bury itself somewhere deep in the ground below them.

Oh no! My arrow didn't work! What do we do!? Kagome thought desperately as the black armoured monster raised it's tail to strike yet again, releasing another jet of poison towards herself and Kirara. The demon cat lept out of the way yet again, the poison barely coming within an inch of touching the cat's fur. Kirara screeched in frustration as she made her way down to the youkai and bared her fangs. Kirara reared herself back, ready to release a full fledged attack when the scorpion youkai was just a bit too quick for her. The side of it's tail slammed into Kirara's back, causing Kagome to go flying off and Kirara to go crashing downward into a cliff.

The impact she made on the cliff knocked the cat unconcious. Kagome screamed Kirara's name as she soared helplessly through the air. She was on her own this time. There was no Inuyasha to come and save her. The scorpion demon advanced upon the girl, raising it's digustingly, armoured tail. It brought the stinger slashing across the frightened miko's side and leg, grazing her hip and slicing her leg wide open. Kagome cried out again and began backing up across the ground on her hands and knees. Kirara had been knocked unconcious, her sacred arrows weren't working and she was all alone. Inuyasha wasn't there to save her and protect her this time. Kagome had been rendered completely helpless in the company of a venomous, scorpion youkai.