Reflections

This drawing is based off of the one-shot I just recently wrote called To Mourn. Basically the message I'm trying to get across here is Edward's grief over the loss of his best friend and his father, hence the drawing of him in the corner, in front of the cross and on his knees in tears. The main center drawing is his determination to continue to live his life to the fullest and walk forward. The images in the sky of his father and Alfons are supposed to represent that even though their bodies have died, their spirits live on him forever. Here's the dialogue for this part in the story. (I didn't draw Al because I didn't have room on the paper!)

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Edward removed his hand from his brother's shoulder and reached out to the cross, running his fingertips down the wooden symbol and felt his heart break. It was almost as if he'd lost his father and his best friend all over again. The images of Envy biting through his father's body and all the blood that had spilled like a raging waterfall, crashing down to the floor flashed through the older Elric's mind. He could no longer fight the intense emotion that threatened to crack his being and he lowered his head, allowing his golden bangs to shield his crumpling face. Edward released a quivering breath. "I'm sorry Dad...Alfons. I'm so sorry," he whispered tremulously.

"Brother?" Alphonse said worriedly, gazing over at his older brother and wiping at his silvery-brown eyes with the backs of his hands. Edward was now on both of his knees, his head hanging in grief and hands planted firmly on the ground and fingers grasping the soil. His teeth were clenched tightly and visibly, and the corner of his mouth was quivering. Silent pain was slamming him from every possible direction like an avalanche of rock encompassing his heart. Alphonse saw a tear sneak down the older Elric's cheek, hidden behind his golden curtain of hair and fall from his chin, followed by another and the another. "Oh, Ed," Alphonse lamented in a whisper as he placed an arm comfortingly around his brother's quaking shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Al," Edward spoke hoarsely, his voice cracking as he allowed himself to be enveloped by his grief and a thin wail escaped his lips.

The blond buried his face in his hands, and his body visibly shook with grief. Alphonse knew that it would happen sooner or later, that Edward would have to allow himself to mourn over the loss of their father and his best friend. He couldn't keep himself composed and strong forever, and so he did just the opposite, allowing himself to completely lose control of the emotions he'd had in check. Edward succumbed to the tears, crying for Alfons and Hohenhiem both. He cried all the unshed tears for Alfons that he could have cried at the funeral but didn't. He cried for all the time they spent together lost, he cried for the way he'd treated the boy the night he'd left for the factory when he'd discovered that the Thule Society had planned on using his world for their uprising.

Edward cried for the cause of Alfons's death being his fault, or so at least he'd had himself convinced it was, and he felt a painful tightness surrounding his heart. He hadn't even be able to save his father from Envy's wrath and he blamed himself for that too, despite what Hohenhiem had said to him. He had wanted to get his father down out of danger's way and keep him from being killed. He'd had Alfons in this world and now he'd known where his father had been all that time he'd gone missing. He'd been determined to have him back as well, but that was lost to Hohenhiem's crimes of the past.

Edward sobbed silently, brokenly into his hands, tears seeping through his clamped fingers and falling onto the fresh soil, nourishing Hohenhiem's symbolic grave with his tears. He didn't know how long he'd remained there on his knees in front of the grave and Alphonse never once questioned him or tried to move him. He'd just allowed his brother this time to grieve, and time to mourn over what he could have saved. It was almost like bitter irony slapping him harshly across his face. After a while, his tears slowed and his weeping had calmed down to hitched breath. He placed his hands firmly on the ground soaked from his tears and stared at the cross.

In a way he wished that he'd had something of his father's to bury, but at least they were able to do this much for him. It was the Elric brothers' memorial for Hohenhiem. Something that would remain a secret just between the two of them. Edward couldn't help but vaguely wonder if he and his mother had been reunited upon his return to the Gate and he couldn't hold back a small grin at the mental imagery of his mother and father's reunion. He could picture her radiant smile broadening on her beautiful face with emerald eyes sparkling lovingly into Hohenhiem's golden ones. The blond stood up from the ground, his hands hanging down at his sides in loose fists. The night wind was rustling the tree branches overhead and he felt it rake through his hair as if Hohenhiem's large hand was brushing back his son's bangs like he'd done when he'd found Edward two years ago missing his limbs once more. The young scientist closed his golden orbs and turned his face towards the sky to gaze up into the star spangled blanket stretching across the atmosphere.

"Brother?" came Alphonse's uncertain tone from behind the older Elric. "Are you okay?" He felt his younger brother's warm hand close over his left bicep.

"Yeah, Al. I'm just fine," Edward assured him, lowering his face to incline his head and glance at his brother both with tear-bright eyes. He smiled sheepishly at him. "Sorry for that. I didn't mean to just..." he began hesitantly but was cut off by a shake of his brother's head.

"Don't be sorry for mourning your losses Brother, that's just stupid. It's only human and we're only humans. Those were your words once," Al told him, pulling a face.

Edward just chuckled a bit before turning towards his brother. "I was thinking of a lot of things. You remember I told you that we can't keep living like we're all that matter in the world?"

"Yeah, I do remember that and I stand by what you said, Brother," Al told him with an indignant nod of his head.

"Well, Dad and Alfons were living proof. If we can help the world in any way possible, then maybe we can help at least prevent other deaths like the ones they had. That'd be one more life saved from the chaos and apathy of the world, wouldn't it?" Edward told him, staring seriously into his younger brother's eyes. "I truly believe that Dad and Alfons would have wanted us to do this. Don't you agree?"

"I most certainly do, Brother," the younger Elric told him, staring down at his father's memorial. "Dad would want us to keep moving onward, one step at a time."

"Dad or Alfons wouldn't want me to just give up. I have to keep living for them and accomplish the goals that they couldn't or goals that they would have wanted to see from me. I...we need to live for the people in this world, no matter how foreign or strange it may seem, this place is home now. We have no choice but to keep moving forward," the older Elric explained to his younger brother, his hands placed firmly on Al's shoulders. "I thought for a long time as I traveled this world searching for a way to find you again, that I was unsure of myself, that it wouldn't be worth it to move forward. I questioned it and for the longest time, and I just didn't know but now I do Al. So, let's live for Dad and for Alfons and do good in this world for their sakes and for the sake of others."

Alphonse gave a swift jerk of his head in agreement with Edward to which he returned with a smile. Yes, the lives of Alfons Heiderich and the Elric brothers' father, Hohenhiem, were lost, but he and Alphonse were still living. They had many things left to accomplish in this world. They would continue to move on and walk forward. The sun was just beginning it's morning peak over the grassy hills and plains as dawn neared ever closer.

"Ready to head back then?" Edward asked, turning back towards his brother.

"We probably should," the bronze-haired boy replied.

"Yeah, Noah will be up soon and knowing her, she'll probably worry if we're not there," the blond added as he cast one last glance at the small, wooden cross for his father. We'll do this for you guys and for all the friends that we couldn't save. We'll live our lives for you. And so the brothers ascended up the hill. All that could be seen was their backs as they left behind the sorrow and headed towards the awaiting truck to go back home. It was the start of a new day, a new life and adventure awaiting just beyond their reach.

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NO EMO COMMENTS PLZ!!